you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
