So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
