She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
