just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
