Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
