just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
