if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
