Pappa wants mamma naked
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
