He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
