Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
