So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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