I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
