White coat. Heels.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Im part way to drunk.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
