so explain again why im purple
no
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
