her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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