His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
