i think i have herpe
just one?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize