im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
