Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
