Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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