don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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