i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
FUCK WHALES
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize