That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
