All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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