Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
