dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
