So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
