Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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