I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
