You work out of a Hotel?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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