I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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