So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
