you would pick up someone in the library
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
