plz talk dirty to me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
