And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
