if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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