Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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