Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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