like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
