Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
