I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
