I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
