He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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