it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I need a beard to bite.
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