We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
