Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
