there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
