peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
