For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
