I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
