My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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