but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
