I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
