Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I have fence marks all over my body
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
