I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
