made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
