We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
