is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
