oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
