I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
