Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
