Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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