he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
