P.S. I can't hear my feet
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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