high people should be assigned attendants
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
