youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just gargled with NyQuil
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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