If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I woke up under a house in Key West
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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