"it" just moved
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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