Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
