Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
