no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize